What has the public school system wrought?

January 13, 2008

Mr. Personnel person
XYZ Corporation
Portland, Oregon

Dear Personell person:

I’m writing because I want a job with your company. I did real well in high skool. I got good grades and my teachers never had no trouble with me.

My friend Bill got a job with your company and says he gets his birthday off, so it sounds like a good place to work.

I need enough money to make my sterio payments and maybe buy a house soon.

I can start work right away, but will need next month off to follow what’s left of the Grateful Dead around New England. Maybe I can make the time up by skipping some lunch periods.

I like to sleep in, but can probably be there most days by 9:30. My high skool didn’t have a dress code, so I hope you don’t to. If you do, do you pay for the clothes?

I’m glad my education prepared me for a good job with your company.

Please don’t use my middle name on my business cards. My friends will laugh if they see it.

Yours truly,

John Quincy Product-of-the-public-schools